Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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