So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The beer is more important than you right now.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
