i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
