the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He felt like a one man threesome
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
