Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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