Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
