The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
