and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
