She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
