I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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