she was so not down for the gang bang
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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