is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
