Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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