The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
