What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
