Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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