Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
