1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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