grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
