Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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