You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
