We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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