btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
