I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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