Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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