I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
