Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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