im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
