I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
BRING THE BAGELS
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
