Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
