Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
