so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
