Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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