i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
