so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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