And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
