Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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