I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
