You can't special order awesome
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
