is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
