you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
