we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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