if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
