Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
