I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What a dumb baby whore.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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