At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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