moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
