I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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