Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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