Already got asked if we're dating
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
