I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We are all done wearing pants today
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
