she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
