I bet he comes in French.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
