literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
