how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
