i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
