help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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