Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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