id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
