Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
