so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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