fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
